i gave my all for you now my hearts in two. February 29, 2008

Filed under: Dejected, Enraged, Irritable, Provoked — graceness @ 12:56 am

I have neglected my blog for almost a month , so now im here to revive my blog. Nothing has happened that will make your whole body filled with enthusiasm , dad has just recent flew to China for some business trip for two weeks, and i guess i have been going out too much since its nearing to my trials, and i intend to do well with flying colours that would blow your sox off.

Anyways sometimes eventhough you have a great bunch of friends, some of us would feel neglected , i mean not to say i feel neglected, but there are times where i feel i dont wanna be an annoying prick and beg to know whatever juicy gossip is being told and sometimes its either i couldn’t care anymore to know every piece of juicy gossip or i just can’t be bothered to go up to them and beg them to tell me. But its not all about me anymore, sometimes life is just too cruel to handle, i mean sure we have to dodge what life throws at us and move on, but what if there are times where you can’t. I mean i think this year has been a year where it makes me realise that life is to short , live life to the fullest with no regrets.

How does it feel to lose a love one? agonizingly painful that words won’t be able to describe the intense feeling you felt at that time. I don’t think i have ever felt that way since my dog “Ginger” died. I mean whether its a human being or an animal , how you feel towards the love one is important yes? I have to say my biggest fear is losing a love one. I don’t think im strong enough mentally to take it. or like say you found out you were sick? not the common cold sick but like really sick? and that you’re life is sprawling downwards? You may be wondering why the fuck am i being emo? well to be honest im not, its just something that has been bothering me and i need to get it off my chest. Life is too short to be bothered and regretting past events. Im sick of replaying past memories of what used to be , and then depressing myself and locking myself in my room with the stereo booming. I will admit now and i couldn’t be bothered who reads it that i haven’t moved on, probably i guess its cuz im a revengeful person or maybe i really am an angry person inside? i just hate you so much that thinking of you makes me have a mini gag that we even used to have something. I hope you fucking disperse into thin air. but whats the point? you’re just another insignificant that has a huge effect on me, you’re cocky attitude and gigantic ego the size of America.

I have just had a mix feeling from happyness, to sadness , to realization and now rage.
I dont intend on inspiring anyone or keeping anyone interested in what i write.

Recap February 12, 2008

Filed under: Dejected, Enthusiastic, Overjoyed — graceness @ 11:21 pm

6.2.08 – Happy Chinese New Years

So i havent been updating in forever, dont even know where to start, so i shall start from Chinese New Year, it was quite exciting being with my family again, loads of fun staying up late and gambling the night away, i was on a stroke of bad luck cuz, everytime when i think im lucky to win some dough, i lose it all. bummer yes? so anyhoo, we did the usual stuff, had to soja, or however you spell it to our granpa and grandma, i always had a hard time since my malay isn’t awesome.

I spent most of time glueing my ass to the computer chair, playing Dota or whatever games there was on Jakes comp. The lion dance was good, and late night stops to Mc Donalds, yea isnt that great? It was great seeing my aunts and uncles again , they never fail to make me laugh my ass off. We watched some Japanese horror movie that was about hair or wigs or something, it was really weird tbh , but sadly there werent any subtitles so Jake was our translator since he manage to find the english subtitles on the internet.

We also watched Saw 4, all i can say is gruesome . horribly disgusting. I had some trouble sleeping that night, i honestly hate, and i say hate with a capital H watching horror films, because n.o 1 , im scared , rofl, n.o 2 makes me wonder if i was in that movie. but somehow, its like a train wreck, its horrible yet you cant seem to turn away. Most of the torture scenes were really gruesome and gross , like at one scene this guy had his eyelids sewn and this other guy who had his lips sewn, creepy. watch it if you’re a Saw fanatic.

So sunday we returned from Melecca to Kl, since there was school tomorrow. Mable was really upset about it though cuz she wanted to stay longer and she has always been a family person anyhoo.

14.2.08 – Happy Valentines Day

Valentines Day was great, except for the fact i couldn’t enjoy the chocolates because i had a huge Ulcer due to a cheek bite, it became so swollen my jaw was in pain. Mum took me to the doctors and got some medicine to reduce the pain, the cream was quite affective. Soon i was back to myself eating chocolates and talking normally again. Valentines Day was so-so, thanks for the chocolates and the rose peeps. Well yeah im kinda lazy to write more of what happened this week, besides that i went for extra class on Saturday, wished i could go to Roshiv’s party but dad was here so obviously can’t. Going to take my L license on Monday …again. yes i failed it not the first time but twice, im stupid . but hopefully i would pass this time. pray for me readers !